Fourth Post
I’ve wanted to post all day, but I’ve had no idea what about. I’ve had some random thoughts and questions:
Why is it that most women (insofar as I’ve observed), at least in casual conversation, refer sneeringly to other women who have eating disorders (or who they suspect of as much)? This has always troubled me, because aren’t those women suffering from disease? Aren’t they the ones who have succumbed to the fairly unbearable pressure from our culture to be thin and [therefore] pretty? I would think they’d be deserving of sympathy as a product of understanding, or maybe some sort of “gender solidarity.” (Not that I know what that means, exactly.)
Then again, I don’t have sympathy for the meatheads who take human growth hormone under the enormous pressure of being bigger and better than their fellow athletes, which I figure is the only relatable equivalent. But is that lack of gender solidarity a consequence of being at the top of the pecking order (read: white male)? Are those in power necessarily more inclined to cannibalize their comrades?
I really enjoyed typing “cannibalize their comrades,” by the way.
Hmm. This reminds me that I want to lighten up. I enjoy the meanderings of my thoughts, but I feel like maybe my brain is much more serious than my personality (I couldn’t tell ya how that works). I’d probably classify myself as a “smiler” — a “laugher,” even — but when I write, I think I come off as some jerk who takes himself and his opinions far too seriously.
…which I might in actuality be. But I don’t want people to think that.
I don’t want to appear serious — I want to appear approachable! I wonder if this is the tension that all of us hard-nosed northeasterners experience…lord knows we do indeed walk around looking pissed off all the time (c’mon — there’s no denying that looks cool), but I don’t doubt that any one of us would enjoy a random [non-pervy] stranger-hug from time to time (and I know I can get those, but it feels insincere when it’s organized)! Or a smile?
Or, let me speak for myself, at least: CHRISTIAN LIKES SMILES. Maybe other people aren’t so into it?
…this sure is a ramblin’ blog.