Sixth Post

I just read the coolest thing: Whales Snooze Half a Brain at a Time. Apparently, sperm whales can move — with their what, physical brain-half, I guess — while their cognitive brain-half SLEEPS.

Imagine if we could do that…imagine if we could exercise while sleeping, or, I dunno, eat, even! I guess we can do the opposite right now…chatting with friends or something while reclining on a couch…but here’re my top 5 things I would certainly do while sleeping:

  1. The sex. Duh. Or wait…maybe I’d prefer to be awake for that. Hmm…it’s still gotta go on as #1. At least for the occasional late night.
  2. Using the toilet. I just calculated how much time I’ve spent on the toilet in my life thusfar, and the *conservative* estimate is 4270.5 hours. I’ve never been more pissed over lost sleep.
  3. Showering. When I wake up in the morning, I’m practically asleep in the shower anyway. I’m ready to make the full commitment.
  4. Jogging. I don’t even know what that is…I think it might be pronounced with a soft j. Anyway, let’s make it happen while I’m asleep — at least that way I’ll be doing something productive at the same time.
  5. Driving. I don’t drive, but…this would probably be awesome. Although criminally dangerous. Don’t do this while I’m sleep-biking.

Oh, and below is the first footage ever of sperm whales sleeping. The woman taping it is totally freaking out, because I think she might think they’re dead or something. It is definitely pretty creepy.

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