Mundane Turbulence

It’s finally happening: I AM GETTING GLASSES.

I know I’m likely in for some “you-don’t-know-how-good-you-have-its” from people who have had spectacles all their lives, but to them I say, “nuts!” I have wanted glasses for the last fifteen years of my life, and so I was quite pleased yesterday to learn that, in fact, I am just near-sighted enough to need’em.

“But C-Dog,” you might ask, using my urban alias, “what is it about having four eyes that you find so appealing?”

“Well H-Bomb,” I would reply, utilizing my other super-phat alias, because…well, I’m actually just talking to myself…like a crazy person, “the fact is that I have, like many others, always associated lenses with smart-looking people. And, H-Bomb, smart people are really. really. sexy.”

“Aw c’mon, C-Dog,” you would respond, reassuringly placing your hand on my shoulder, “we both know that you are clearly smart AND sexy. What makes you feel as though ya gots ta advertise?”

I’d hang my head a bit and blush, which, in addition to the nervous smile on my face, would betray my knowledge of the whole concept’s fundamental silliness, but I’d say all same: “I know that you know. And you know that I’d know. But I want them to know.”

“You want who to know, C-Dog?” You’d ask, your eyes darting around suspiciously, both hands gripping my shoulders. “Who??”

“I don’t know!” I’d yell, wrestling off your vise-like hold, and then adding (quoting my friend Johanna), “I’M COMPLICATED!!”

Aaaand scene!

(An approximation of the awesomeness to come.)