Mundane Turbulence

Dolphin Rescues Stranded Whales

Alright…so this is basically the coolest thing. A dolphin that frequents waters off of New Zealand, named Moko, saved two misguided pygmy sperm whales from beaching themselves. The whales, in spite of being pushed away from shore by a Conservation Department officer (Malcolm Smith), would not stay pushed away…but then Moko arrived.

Moko, as you might guess from the fact that she has a name, is well-known by locals. She plays with swimmers and boaters, and has many close interactions with humans — because she was, for whatever reason, isolated from her pod.

Anyway, this is how Moko saved the whales: she somehow heard the cries they made as they attempted to beach themselves, approached them, SPOKE TO THEM, and then guided them away from the shore. This interaction between Moko and the whales was observed by Smith.

The notion that other animals might possess some kind of cross-species language is amazing to me. I’ve heard of whale and dolphin speak of course, and elephants using that underground language thing they’ve got…but those are ways that they all talk amongst themselves. A dolphin communicating with some whales, though? THAT IS AWESOME, and it makes me think that some animals might not just be emoting when they make noises, but may actually possess a LANGUAGE.

Which, of all things or people, reminds me of crazy, dead ol’ Wesley Willis. I don’t know if it was in one of his songs, or if I heard it in an interview, but I remember him saying something very intriguing, in a fun way: that dolphins were evolved humans. I know that this is ridiculous — that dolphins evolved from something like what bears and dogs came from — but the idea that humans can become something other than what we are is fascinating to me. What will we look like in five thousand years (what with all the crazy shit we’re likely to do to ourselves in the future)? Would someone from that far in the future be able to make babies with someone from today?

So…then that reminds me in turn of my FAVORITE evolutionary hypothesis (my second is dinosaurs to birds, which covers all TWO of the evolutionary hypotheses I know): that of the aquatic ape! You know how Discovery Channel shows (among other sources of information and…ya’know, smart people) go on about how there’s a missing link between small-brained hominids and the ones with us-sized brains? Well, the idea behind the aquatic ape is that the missing link’s fossils all washed away into the ocean off the horn of Africa…and along with them, the evidence of how apes lost their body hair, and gained body fat (like other semi-aquatic mammals, such as hippopotamuses).

Also, instead of learning to walk upright to redistribute heat while foraging in the African savannas, our ape forebearers learned to do so in order to catch fish in the sea. And instead of getting the requisite protein for big brain size from hunting land animals, it was from those same fish. I think there were a couple other reasons that pointed to evolution by the sea, but I don’t really remember them. Basically though…the idea is totally sweet!

And THAT’S how you get from talking dolphins to Wesley Willis to the evolution of people.