Forty-Sixth Post
I’m currently in Chicago at a conference for the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies. This is…a fairly depressing gathering, if you can believe that. Our lab has a couple posters here, though, so that’s pretty cool. Also cool that they have my name one them. We didn’t really find much in the one poster we did that incorporated the data we’ve collected, but I’m thinking that’s pretty okay. I mean, sometimes you’re just not gonna know what criteria will affect certain outcomes. Which is what happened with the particular items at which we looked, but sometimes these false steps help to point you in the right direction.
Oh noes…is Christian heading towards a topic of discusssion? Yes, my friends. Yes. (Funny…I think John McCain has ironically popularized the use of the words “my friends.” Your legacy is intact, senator!) I’ve been [trying to] work on my personal statement for grad school applications over the past couple weeks or so, and…it’s very difficult. My grades aren’t great, so if I’m going to get accepted to a school for next fall (which I’m pretty sure won’t happen this time around), I’m going to have to separate myself from other applicants based in largepart on my story, and my personality.
And my story can certainly be characterized by the absence of sure steps, and is full of wrong directions. I get the sense that it’s pretty hard for your average reasonably intelligent and capable individual to make a choice on what the heck to do with him-or-herself. In attempting to briefly put together ideas for a personal statement, I’ve listed some of the many things I’ve done since (and some during) high school: taught karate, assisted staff, studied art, guarded security, sold computers, repaired computers, counted money, managed generally, assisted research, and some things inbetween. There was a time when I strongly considered teaching karate (my dad – happy birthday, by the way – was sure that my master wanted me to take over for him one day), a time when I thought I would give a life in art a go (but instead I dropped out of art school), and a time when I thought I might just take the academic administration track (until I realized that, for me, it was soul-sucking). But, really, I was wrong about all of those!
So the case I have to make for myself must answer these: what about psychology is different about those other things I did that weren’t right for me? What about psychology compells me to commit? What about my desire to be a psychologist is worthy of investment (financially and otherwise)?
These, of course, are very difficult questions! Recently, I’ve had the distinct displeasure of expressing my feelings and thoughts – things that in my mind cannot be challenged – but not being believed. I think about the creation of this personal statement, and wonder if that phenomenon (which is fairly terrifying) may be one that I re-experience. I believe myself when I think that I want to be a psychologist, but will others trust the path that I’ve followed, along with all its digressions? This…should be interesting.
And if they don’t, I’ll just have to try again.